Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
