somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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