every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
