I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
