I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
