i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
