I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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