guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
