speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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