Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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