Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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