Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
