i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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