WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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