i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
