She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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