this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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