are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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