She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
