just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
