During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
