hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
