Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
