How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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