she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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