this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
