she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
