ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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