we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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