dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
