I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
