Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
