did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
