Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
