carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
