Me too!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
