So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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