drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
