when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
