i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
