Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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