Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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