I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
