I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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