Tell her she can't have a vagina
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
