What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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