i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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