Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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