She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
