i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
