so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
