all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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