I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
