i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
