She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
